While a shocking number of future New York Times bestselling writers were born in log cabins on dirt floors to unwed mothers, I was born in a hospital, though my mom and dad weren't married—which is why I have two last names. I have to say that even though it may sound nice and literary, having two last names is a pain in the butt, so if you're thinking of doubling the surnames of your offspring, may I humbly suggest no.

Now you're probably wondering why my parents weren't married, and I'll tell you. They were more or less hippies, and I was born in San Francisco in the early 1970s. I can assure you that those two factors went into making a lot of kids like me.

Anyway, I lived in a nice home in San Francisco with both my folks until the age of four, at which point we moved to New York City. That's right, my parents decided to move to New York City in the mid-1970s, which means they were either super-cool or super-dumb or super-shrewd about real estate investing (I can assure you it was not the latter). My mom worked at The New Museum, and my dad was a painter, and we lived in a loft, and I grew up around artists and their kids,...

Hobbies, Interests, and Enthusiasms:

I am enthusiastic about internet cat videos, long walks in the woods, my kids, and rock climbing (one of those is a fib). I also like video games way more than a grown man should, and I think Tokyo is the coolest place I've ever been. Oh, and deep-fried gator poppers. Those are pretty swell, too.

Education:

Eugene Lang College/The New School University (English & Writing)

Organizations:

The Authors Guild